An 80-year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling."I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"
The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day, he went out in a bit of a hurry, and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun." The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods, and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle. And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried.
Dumbfounded, the old man replied, "No."
The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!"
"That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear."
"That's kind of what I'm getting at," replied the doctor.
He He He
Monday, April 30, 2007
28 Way to make a Girl Smile
1 . Tell her she is beautiful, not hot, fine or sexy.
2 . Hold her hand at any moment even if it is just for a second.
3 . Kiss her on the forehead.
4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to.
5 . Always tell her you love her at any and all times.
6 . When she is upset hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you.
7 . Recognize the small things . . . they usally mean the most.
8 . Call her sweety. {not baby}
9 . Sing to her no matter how horrible your voice is.
10 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with.
11 . Write her notes. {she loves them}
12 . Introduce her to family and friends as your girlfriend.
13 . Play with her hair.
14 . Pick her up, tickle her and play-wrestle with her.
15 . Sit in the park and just talk to her.
16 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, just tell her jokes.
17 . Throw pebbles at her window in the middle of the night just because you missed her.
18 . Let her fall asleep in your arms.
19 . Carve your names into a Tree.
20 . If she's mad at you, kiss her.
21 . Give her piggyback rides.
22 . Bring her Flowers just because.
23 . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone.
24 . Look her in the eyes and smile.
25 . Let her take as many pictures of you as she wants.
26 . Slow dance with her, even if there isn't any music playing.
27 . Kiss her in the rain.
28 . If you're in love with her . . . Tell her.
2 . Hold her hand at any moment even if it is just for a second.
3 . Kiss her on the forehead.
4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to.
5 . Always tell her you love her at any and all times.
6 . When she is upset hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you.
7 . Recognize the small things . . . they usally mean the most.
8 . Call her sweety. {not baby}
9 . Sing to her no matter how horrible your voice is.
10 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with.
11 . Write her notes. {she loves them}
12 . Introduce her to family and friends as your girlfriend.
13 . Play with her hair.
14 . Pick her up, tickle her and play-wrestle with her.
15 . Sit in the park and just talk to her.
16 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, just tell her jokes.
17 . Throw pebbles at her window in the middle of the night just because you missed her.
18 . Let her fall asleep in your arms.
19 . Carve your names into a Tree.
20 . If she's mad at you, kiss her.
21 . Give her piggyback rides.
22 . Bring her Flowers just because.
23 . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone.
24 . Look her in the eyes and smile.
25 . Let her take as many pictures of you as she wants.
26 . Slow dance with her, even if there isn't any music playing.
27 . Kiss her in the rain.
28 . If you're in love with her . . . Tell her.
Some Thoughts for MEN
Thought 1 #
When we are born, our mother's get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?
Thought 2 #
The average man's life consists of:
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,
Forty years of having his wife ask the same question;
and at the end, the mourners wondering too.
Thought 3 #
A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.
He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
The man asked. "Who are you?" I am your guardian angel," the voice answered. "Oh, yeah?" the man asked "And where the hell were you when I got married?"This is the best!!!
Thought 4 #
Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand.
Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride. The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something.
So he announced "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life."Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, "My daughter finally returned my credit card to me. "The whole Audience including priest started laughing.
When we are born, our mother's get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?
Thought 2 #
The average man's life consists of:
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,
Forty years of having his wife ask the same question;
and at the end, the mourners wondering too.
Thought 3 #
A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.
He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
The man asked. "Who are you?" I am your guardian angel," the voice answered. "Oh, yeah?" the man asked "And where the hell were you when I got married?"This is the best!!!
Thought 4 #
Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand.
Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride. The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something.
So he announced "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life."Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, "My daughter finally returned my credit card to me. "The whole Audience including priest started laughing.
Interview Tip
Interviewer said, "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!"
Interviewer said, " I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!"
The candidate thought for a while and said, " My choice is one really difficult question."
" Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice!" said the interviewer.
Here is your question: " What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depended on the correctness of the answer to that one question. He thought for a while and said, " It's DAY sir!"
" How?" the interviewer asked."
Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!"
Moral : Technical Skill is the mastery of complexity, while Creativity is the mastery of simplicity
Interviewer said, " I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!"
The candidate thought for a while and said, " My choice is one really difficult question."
" Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice!" said the interviewer.
Here is your question: " What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depended on the correctness of the answer to that one question. He thought for a while and said, " It's DAY sir!"
" How?" the interviewer asked."
Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!"
Moral : Technical Skill is the mastery of complexity, while Creativity is the mastery of simplicity
Walk your Way to Good Health
Walking is one of the most hassle-free fitness routines. And all you really need is a pair of shoes, and a place to walk your way to good health for that. You can lose about a kilo a month if you walk briskly for an hour everyday, according to an Arizona State University study.
Walking as a workout helps improve blood and lymph circulation. It goes a long way in reducing the risk of developing osteoporosis and fractures. And for that matter an aerobic workout is also a good way to keep heart troubles at bay and your blood pressure in check.You can also heighten the benefits of walking if you take your walking workout outside to your neighbourhood park.
One of the best forms of exercise is power walking. It is a full body work out. Other than the leg muscles it also works the muscles of your arms, shoulders and the back.
"While you are walking, you should be able to carry on a conversation while walking and if you cannot it means that you are walking too fast,” says fitness expert, Zorana.
A quick checklist before you start:
* Avoid walking on hard surfaces like cemented tracks and roads.
* It is important to wear comfortable shoes and if they are eight to nine months old.
* Wear loose clothing.
* Take a bottle of water along with you.
Source: WWW
Walking as a workout helps improve blood and lymph circulation. It goes a long way in reducing the risk of developing osteoporosis and fractures. And for that matter an aerobic workout is also a good way to keep heart troubles at bay and your blood pressure in check.You can also heighten the benefits of walking if you take your walking workout outside to your neighbourhood park.
One of the best forms of exercise is power walking. It is a full body work out. Other than the leg muscles it also works the muscles of your arms, shoulders and the back.
"While you are walking, you should be able to carry on a conversation while walking and if you cannot it means that you are walking too fast,” says fitness expert, Zorana.
A quick checklist before you start:
* Avoid walking on hard surfaces like cemented tracks and roads.
* It is important to wear comfortable shoes and if they are eight to nine months old.
* Wear loose clothing.
* Take a bottle of water along with you.
Source: WWW
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